We all want to do the best for our Children, but frankly, I often felt at a loss as to what that even is! Yet, as I mentioned here, I am, at best, hesitant, when it comes to trusting “baby experts”. Having now completed the Attachment Parenting UK’s Positive Discipline Online 10 part Course, I feel I have found a happy medium. This Course is based around teachings by Clinical Experts, and is Evidence based. It supported my beliefs about Parenting, and I found I learnt a lot. The way the Course is constructed meant I was able to access little bite-sized portions when I had a spare moment, such as at nap times. And also able to revisit sections over and over. I wanted to share with you how I found it beneficial, and that I really believe it can help all Parents both understand, and more importantly, enjoy their Children more. If you would like to find out more, you can read about the Course in more depth here, and the code INTREPID50 offers a 50% reduction to Parents, Grandparents or Child Care Practitioners. The Course gave me:
The questionnaires at the start of the course helped me understand what sort of Parent I was, and whether my ‘ideas’ about Parenting, matched up with the reality of my day to day approach. I wasn’t shocked to discover there was a disconnect between by Democratic ideals, and Permissive reality. Just this quiz alone is so beneficial to all Parents, and provides an opportunity to step back, and understand yourself.
The course provides a fascinating insight into how young brains function. For me, if I can understand the ‘why’ it really helps me control my reaction. Whilst Parenting is of-course more Art than Science, there is a lot of Biology at play. I found the bite-sized chunks helped me appreciate what was going on ‘behind the scenes’. Which in turn, gave me the ability to appreciate and interpret my Daughter’s more challenging behaviours.
One Simple but Powerful Phrase
“Your Child lives in the environment of your emotions”, whilst you need to do the Course to fully appreciate this, it really resonated with me. I may know that if I have a bad night, I have less patience, having it spelt out to me, that my Daughter is so heavily influenced by my mood really hit a nerve. And the inconstancy of happily making a game of getting dressed one day, and then getting exasperated and annoyed another, was really highlighted for me.
Encouragement rather than Praise
This concept was introduced to me on a Podcast by Doctor Of Psychology Justin Coulson. To be honest, initially, it sounded so counter intuitive to me. I think my Daughter is wonderful and tell her so all day long. But the more I listened the more I understood. I would really urge you to explore this concept. Because in understanding it, I really appreciated the merits of ditching praise, and perhaps how I have been negatively impacted by this myself.
“There’s very little we can actually do, but there’s a lot we can be”. Leanening to view tantrums as a ‘power struggle’, which I opt not to engage in, was very helpful. And to accept that I cannot control tantrums, nor make them instantly a thing of the past (sadly), but there are a lot of things I can do to help the situation. The Course touches on elements I really believe in, such as self care, self awareness, respect for the child, and mindfulness. Walking away I felt empowered and optimistic. I may not have all the answers, but I have a clearer understanding, and new tools at my finger tips.
I was given a useful tip, when it comes to Parenting advice; take it as a Buffet, pick and choose what suits you. Certain aspects of the Course, I can see will apply more as intrepid Bebe gets older. But there was a lot I can take away with me now, and will be re-watching and working on. I will also be encouraging those who regularly care for her to access the Course, in the hope of sharing the understanding, and providing her with continuity.
**THE COURSE HAS BEEN OFFERED TO ME AS COMPLEMENTARY, IN RETURN FOR AN HONEST REVIEW. THERE’S NO SUGAR COATING THIS TODDLER, SO THE PROOF REALLY WILL BE IN THE (SUGAR FREE) PUDDING.