When interviewing for “Intrepid Bebe Asks” a staple question of mine is: how has Motherhood changed you. I find it really interesting to hear the views of other Women. Motherhood is such a unique journey, no two experience are the same. After a conversation today, I felt inspired to share a little about what Motherhood is to me.
To me Motherhood is a wild roller coaster of emotion, with higher highs and lower lows than I imagined possible. It is being so bone tired, that I cannot see straight, and cannot imagine how I will face another day, or put one step in front of the other. It is terror that this tiny precious bundle will come to harm if I avert my gaze for a second. It is feeling so fiercely protective, like a Lioness with her cub. It is tapping into primitive instincts, listening to my gut, and having faith that I know my baby better than anyone. That I was born to do this.
Motherhood to me is feeling a pride in this little person greater than any personal achievement of my own. It is being challenged, constantly, physically, emotionally, challenging the fibre of my being. It is feeling smothered, overwhelmed, unskilled, out of my depth. It is excitement in each new thing she learns and accomplishes. It is starring adoringly into these eyes, knowing my body built every single cell. It is a connection like no other.
Motherhood to me is not recognising the face in the mirror. It is searching fruitlessly for my ‘old life’, and eventually finding not only does it no longer exists, but it no longer appeals. It is the realisation that I am still me, but a souped up, hardcore version, with scars, stripes and battle wounds, (a bit like terminator). It is an ever changing learning curve, ever evolving in wants, needs, challenges, and joys. It is breathing her in, squeezing her tight, missing her the second we are apart.
Motherhood to me is love, in it’s purest form. It is unconditional, unequivocal love. Love which is all encompassing, overpowering, knocks you over, and keeps you going.
That’s what Motherhood is to me.