Another way having a premmie baby left me feeling rather ripped off, forget the zero Maternity leave, or the not being able to take my baby home, it was the fact I didn’t get a Bounty Bag! Outrageous hey?
So I have complied an alternative (slightly higher budget) bag. Things like a live in doula, that illusive black market sleep dust, bags of self belief and a crystal ball, would be obvious options, but this isn’t Mary Poppins’ handbag, I can only squeeze so much in!
Firstly, a rename, Bountys are a bit like Marmite (love or hate them). Should it be a Time Out bag, due to the tragic irony that after inspecting the contents of this bag, there will be no time out for aprox five years. A Fruit & Nut because fruit cake and nutcase are both things one might associate with Parenting? The archaically sexist Yorkie bar, in an attempt to con those men that still buy into that crap, that all the grotty bits of parenting (I’m talking nappies and spew) are for men only? But I decided upon the Maverick. What do you mean you don’t remember it? Yes it may have been retired in 2000, but I can not think of a more perfect description for your baby than an unorthodox or independent-minded person/unbranded calf?
The Contents of the Maverick Bag:
- A copy of The Unmumsy Mum aka “the bible of maternal honesty”. Sarah’s blog reached out to me in those dark early months when I have never felt more alone or more broken. She normalises parenthood, she tells in how it is. It is my go to gift for new mamas, so in the bag it goes.
- a Dyson cordless vacuum. You cannot underestimate the crumbs, the constant crumbs. And whilst you mighn’t use it a whole lot, having it lounging around the place gives the impression you might
- Ice packs-don’t ask, just trust me
- A guide to Origami- if you can master that, you will easily graduate to swaddling and tying your first baby carrier
- @yesmummum matra cards
- Dry Shampoo
- A litter picker-because the remote and your phone are always just out of reach when you’re stuck under a sleeping baby!
- fourth trimester-because if do get time to read a magazine (and you can actually reach one) it does not need something which perpetuates the myth of perfection and easy. It needs to be filled with witty, insightful and most importantly honest articles.
- An Instagram log in- welcome to your new parenting community
- under eye Concealer (industrial)
- a month (year) supply of frozen homemade dinners
- Coconut oil- it fixes everything from sore bums (babies), sore nipples (yours), dry hair (yours again)
- a Selfish Mother Mama jumper-of course
What would make it into your Maverick bag?